Damir Alidžanovič

Our very own reality-TV star, Damir brings notable strength to the side as an athletic fielder, medium-paced bowler and middle-order batsman (provided the opposing skipper has brought the spinners on). Little seen in 2005/6, Damir still managed to set a new European all-comers record for pulling out of the team at the last minute (usually somewhere between an hour before and an hour after the scheduled start). Widely tipped for a full-comeback next season, the team would certainly benefit.

Celery moment: Reference photo.

David Archer

And there came among them a man named David, and he did smite mightily, although mostly through extra cover. And his bowling was as a shot from the sling, with a bit of turn, and his fielding was as an eagle swooping on the small beasts of the plains, and his catching was as a jackal seizing a falling fig, which is to say half-decent really. And the Lord did look on the lofty height of his elbow and the straightness of his bat, which was as a dye, and was well pleased. But then the Lord did watch a few overs more, and He maybe had second thoughts, for whosoever getteth down his head, but moveth not his feet, yea, he shall surely perish, most likely in t’slips. And Oman went into the desert and spilt his seed. Again.

Celery moment: shot played 4.2 seconds after stumps wrecked (European record)

Urban "Suburban Express" Blaznik

Imagine taking one of Slovenia’s top handball practitioners and persuading him to switch to the most noble of sports. What manner of cricketer might we see? A deceptive, seam-hitting bowler with the chest-and-arm power of an old Courtney Walsh? Verily. A demon in the field, tempting the batsmen with his lolloping gait before firing in a stump-seeking missile for the majestic yet inevitable run-out? Indeed. A clueless twat with the bat? Well, think again stereotypers, for since a switch to left-handed batting the Prince of Škofja Loka has been almost unstoppable. Given the efficacy of his patented blat, many other club members would do well to switch hands too.

Celery moment: take guard right-handed, stop bowler, face left-handed, depart rapidly. It did not look proficient.

Dr Borut Cegovnik

Borut can proudly lay claim to the ownership of the title of "Father" of cricket in Slovenia. Playing cricket as early as 1974 with his mates in the stunning mountain location of Mežica, he pounced enthusiastically when given the chance to revive his career with Ljubljana, as well as forming Slovenia's 2nd club Mežica cc. Involved in a record 9th wicket partnership with fellow Slovene Urban Blaznik of 43 which bought the crowd alive in an international match against Bulgaria (which also helped us get out of more than a little danger)

Celery moment: Despite the fact that there was only a metre of snow on the ground, still more in the air and only 3 blokes possibly available still doggedly wished to go to cricket practice one pre-season.

Rob Crawford

An hour after the scheduled start, a cloud of acrid cigar smoke from an unshaven apparition with tattered trousers round ankles can only herald the belated arrival of Crawf. A gutsy, unhurried and reliable batsman, he is unfazed by the fastest of bowling, while being utterly fazed by the slowest of leggies. One of several club bowlers to have developed the yips, he has donned the gloves to hang on to the chances he used to shell with regularity and expletive accompaniment at slip. Very quick to offer grammatically inept advice to the bowlers in Slovene, usually suggesting with breathtaking originality that we knock the batsman’s head or toes off.

Celery moment: dislocating his finger, breaking two bones in his foot off a spinner and then failing to duck a lifting ball, all in the space of 4 matches.

Greg Davies

One of several who refuses to be re-routed to the Former Greats page, Eurocrat Greg now lives in Luxembourg, but this does not prevent him commuting to the Alps, the Adriatic and even the Hungarian Plain to play a bit of cricket for Ljubljana. Which might say something about the weekend charms of the Grand Duchy, but also speaks volumes for the man’s grit, determination and stupidity; qualities very much to the fore in his batting. The master of getting out after a break, he occasionally kicks on to a big one. As our athletic first-choice keeper, he is proud to be charged Tolars for top-edges that cannon off his forehead when standing up. Is also quite the worst bowler any of us have ever seen. Amazing to report, then, that he was once on a hat-trick. Who was that batsman?

Ian "Sideboard Bob" Donchi

The club’s nickname creator and penal administrator, Donch’s ability to conjure fines out of nothing would have made him a marvellous chief of police in Ukraine. Now takes to the field with pen and paper to record the litany of dropped catches, misfields, rank failures, errant deeds, vague transgressions and made-up violations that form the average Ljubljana performance. In recent times has temporarily relinquished his duties as a scribe to send down some pretty bloody decent new ball stuff. A threatening batsman, as in threatens to make more than he usually does. You underestimate his agility and speed in the outfield at your peril.

Celery moment: Early season portentous quote to team-mates "do you know, I've never dropped a chance for this club".

Brad "Disco" Eve

Good old Brad, pounding in, sinews and trousers straining as ever in the quest to keep wickets ahead of kilos. Our best, most reliable bowler. As stingy on the pitch as he is generous off it, although seasoned observers (yes, me) might hope for a bit more chin music. His desperate ambition to score a fifty has been thwarted by a combination of nervousness in the 40s and considerable lack of ability at earlier stages (until recently when he managed to get that monkey off the back). Still, probably one of the best one-eyed batsmen the game has ever seen, albeit dimly.

Celery moment: assaying the pull to a middle-stump half volley; results predictable

Paul Freebairn

The leading light of Maribor Cricket Club, Paul blatantly flouts the regulations of the nascent Slovenian Cricket Association by turning out for Ljubljana. Maybe it’s because his thirst for high-quality cricket knows no bounds, maybe it’s because he feels that the regular challenge of league action is what he needs at this stage of his career. Or maybe it’s because we’ve got a ground and they haven’t. Whatever, he has now brought his brand of limpet-like West Country batting to a diversity of match situations. Has never put a chance down, although you can probably guess the unspoken corollary. He is also the anti-Crawford, having once turned up at the ground five hours before the scheduled start of play. This, obviously enough, is a record.

Celery moment: His uncanny ability to make any listener feel ill while telling some truly gruesome anecdotes.

Steve "The Defibrillator" Fish

The Fish. His metronomic inaccuracy often has the slip cordon interested, usually without the intervention of the batsman. Also possesses the worst slower ball in this (and probably any other) universe. Do not, in the name of all that is sacred, ever, ever get out to it. Batting best described as “busy”, but always thoroughly if briefly entertaining. Capable of spectacular misfielding in the gully, but at training does very nifty throwdowns with his trusty lacrosse stick, none of which spin viciously. A man to empty the bars, nevertheless.

Celery moment: facing any bowler with breasts.

Tom Furness

Tom can bat stylishly and profitably, of that there is little doubt. Can’t run though, which has probably cost him a ton or two. Like many a quality bat, he “used to be” an opening bowler, before suffering an injury in his youth. What manner of injury prevents one from pitching the ball any further down the track than ones own toes is, however, destined to remain a medical mystery. One of our more reliable catchers in the deep, cigarette smoke notwithstanding, he is also an occasional proponent of the batsman’s sledge: “Get that shit out of here…” Edited to add - 3rd Club Centurion and 1st to do it on Slovenian soil.

Celery moment: playing immaculate back-foot defensive to yorker.

Alasdair Green

Like many of his grizzled contemporaries, Al is mighty fond of a beer, a fag, a sledge and a bizarre dismissal. Having taken a back seat after manning the helm of the club for many sterling years, he has been missed for his cheeky batting and downright audacious snail-pace left armers. Bravely wore one of the most vicious barrages of intimidatory bowling in club history. Alas, at training. The kind of man you want standing under it when you’ve suckered their top man with a slower one.

Celery moment: Cricketing talent aside, has an uncanny resemblance to Darren Lehman.

Mike Gregory

Our "man in Havanna," well Zagreb, actually. Mike is a proud Yorkshireman, Leeds fan and Ljubljana keeper. Travelling cross border for every match, Mike is far livelier and more enthusiastic whilst diving at misdirected cricket balls than a man of his age deserves to be. Pretty solid with the bat too, Mike has been a big asset to the club in late 06 and early 07

Celery moment: We'll work something out. Did we mention Leeds United?

Daniel "Tash" Herakovič

The Tash delighted the fans when he waltzed out to the crease and belted the Zagreb paceman Ivan Bilić for a glorious four off the first ball he received.  Great comfort was felt by all upon seeing the Tashmobile slowly splutter into the car park on matchdays but times change and the young Tash has replaced that with a real car now. 

Celery moment: The original 'tache.

 "Donny" Dave, 2nd of the fabled tribe of Dave the batsmen. To be fair though, infinitely more talented than his original namesake. Can bowl some wily left arm swing as well and has a fairly useful arm. We are expecting to see more of him this year as his football commitments are unlikely to clash as often as last year.

Celery moment: Many, but the not bringing a passport story which prevented him from making his debut for the 3rd week in a row must be right up there.

Robi Jakofčič

Robi is a hard hitting batsman, a good accurate bowler and sharp in the field. He is also a Jakofčič, which makes him an important part of Slovenian cricket. As one of the founding members of Bela Krajina Cricket Club, he can often be found bowling hostile trajectories at his brother, nephew and anyone else foolish enough to enter the "only" net in Slovenia (somewhere near Egon's pub). Pictures with him is young son Luka, who we hope to see don the whites one day in the future.  

Celery moment: Very vocal encouragement from the boundary last year in Belgium. Not too subtle, believe us.

Uros Jakofčič

 Probably the most technically proficient batsman and bowler in the club,     young Uros continues to turn in performances that put older players to  shame. He even showed tremendous grit to come back from a familial barrage of beamers and bouncers during a recent game. Assuming he looks beyond the club for role-models (and thereby avoids the three pitfalls of poor technique, no practice and degenerate lifestyle that seem to have befallen his older team-mates) a bright future for him is assured.

 Celery moment: Grandstanding massively when winning matches with huge fours (not a bad problem really)

Lalantha "Sideboard Bob 2" Karunatilake

 A stocky and smiling Sri Lankan, what else would Lalantha be but a purveyor of legspin and an eager block-and-bash batsman? His appealing from round the wicket suggests a feeble grasp of the lbw law. But while his batting used to suggest an equally dim familiarity with the laws on catching and being bowled, he has recently added solidity to become a reliable contributor, even allowing for his backing up being worse than a blind woman parallel parking a JCB. Always willing to rustle up some lunch, and despite our constant encouragement he seems to feel that Europeans can’t take their chillies. Must have confused us with those Aussie poofters.

Celery moment: gate big enough for beach ball.

Steve "Mayhem" Mayland

Whether in his guise as a devastating swing bowler or a painfully elegant batsman, when Steve’s on the field (marital weather permitting), the off stick is always in danger. Proud holder of the highest nice-shots-at-training to runs-actually-made-in-a-match ratio at the club, he can play all round a straight one with the languid elegance of Gower in his prime: weight balanced, elbow high, stumps scattered. Catches more than he drops, which accords god-like status among certain peers, unless it’s off his own bowling, in which case he is jelly.

Celery moment: end of most innings.

Mark Oman

The skipper. A leader with bat, ball and sledge. Having shed himself of the idea that “if we bat out the 50 overs for 50 runs, we’ve got a chance”, he has recently played some superb and enterprising innings. His steep-bouncing quick stuff is usually tough to get away, but occasionally he gets leathered round the whole of Central Europe. Scorer of the club’s debut century, he also holds the club record for longest distance travelled by bail when booting down the stumps after denial of an lbw decision. Ah, the spirit of cricket. Spends his spare time playing tennis under the pseudonym of Pat Rafter.

Celery moment: Batting demonstration for TV crew; first-ball clean-up successfully demonstrated.

Vinko Oman

While Vinko may well be the oldest player regularly playing cricket in this part of the world, he is far from being the worst.

A useful bowler, who once bagged 4 wickets for the club, while younger teammates were creating "most runs hit of you in an over" records, and a solid defence with the bat, Vinko's importance to the team is often unnoticed and unacknowledged. He does absolutely loads of work, epecially seen in things like the construction of the nets and the building of the pitch at Chengdujška.

Dan Ryan

Master chef, skilled musician, raconteur, lothario, Billy Bragg look-alike and witty profile writer, this man’s talents know virtually no end. Back in the waking world, however, he is a decent fielder, despite throwing with his right arm and bowling with his left. An attacking batsman, his philosophy that “anything outside off has to go” sees him regularly convert wides into wickets. Has lately promoted the idea that he will be the new Derek Underwood when he loses all semblance of pace. Shrewder judges have offered little encouragement in this rather charming delusion.

Celery moment: shouldering arms in anticipation of bouncer that hits about half way up.